I had a great oppurtunity today to hang out with my co-workers daughter and chat about some things going on her life. Although I now got her addicted to starbucks peppermint hot chocolate, so I'm sure her mom will be loving me... :)
It's times like these where I feel God is using the experiences in my life to help others. One thing I have blogged a ton about and have always struggled with, is self worth. Not feeling good enough, feeling unworthy of love. Today looking into a young girls eyes and telling her the same things I wish rung true in my heart, made my heart soften and understand something about myself. I saw a young girl in pain over the divorce of her parents. I saw in her eyes and quiet nature that she was dealing with feeling unloved. It was one of those times where I truly saw how young she was and all that she was faced with. I felt myself flash back to remembering that I went through so much by the time I was this girls age. And for the first time in awhile, when I said out loud that it wasn't her fault that her parents got a divorce, It's like I realized that it wasn't my fault with mine either. That just like I told her, I am worthy of love. My past holds no grip on me, I am not dirty because of things done to an innocent child. I am not unworthy of love because I have seen 3 "father figures" come and go. That doesn't change anything. I pray more than anything that this young girl does not go through the emotional turmoil I went through and will probably continue to struggle with the rest of my life. I pray that when I told her she is worthy of love and that the things that have happened weren't her fault, that she will listen and believe. So I'm thankful for a time to chat with a young girl, and even though I wanted to be a help for her, it's amazing how she truly helped me realize more about myself.
Also tonight at youth group we did an activity that just the thought of it has always made me cringe.... washing each others feet. The interesting thing is I honestly would have rather washed the 20 or so people's feet in the group before letting them touch mine. It's not like I have gross feet or anything, it's just the vulnerability of the situation. The symbolic surrending yourself to someone else, and trusting them. I really don't know what I've always been afraid of because truth is, it was a very amazing experience. I mean what's the worst that could happen? Someone might tell me my feet stink, hehe, but truly what has always scared me? I think it ties back to before; Not feeling worthy or comfortable enough, to put myself out there in such a vulnerable position. So it was cool to see how earlier I was beginning to see that I'm worthy of love, and then being pushed to the test this evening by doing something I have always been weary of.
The other awesome part was seeing my 14 year old brother. The one that makes fun of me, is verbally abusive most of the time, but watching him wash the feet of one of his peers. Sure I was laughing watching him accomplish the task in an awkward fashion, but I couldn't help but feel my eyes well up, feeling so proud of my brother and all these kids doing something the world would find completley crazy. It brought us together for awhile, and I am thankful for the example Jesus left. To serve. To serve others, not for gratitude or for fame, but to genuinly love and do things that others wouldn't imagine.
It's times like these where I feel God is using the experiences in my life to help others. One thing I have blogged a ton about and have always struggled with, is self worth. Not feeling good enough, feeling unworthy of love. Today looking into a young girls eyes and telling her the same things I wish rung true in my heart, made my heart soften and understand something about myself. I saw a young girl in pain over the divorce of her parents. I saw in her eyes and quiet nature that she was dealing with feeling unloved. It was one of those times where I truly saw how young she was and all that she was faced with. I felt myself flash back to remembering that I went through so much by the time I was this girls age. And for the first time in awhile, when I said out loud that it wasn't her fault that her parents got a divorce, It's like I realized that it wasn't my fault with mine either. That just like I told her, I am worthy of love. My past holds no grip on me, I am not dirty because of things done to an innocent child. I am not unworthy of love because I have seen 3 "father figures" come and go. That doesn't change anything. I pray more than anything that this young girl does not go through the emotional turmoil I went through and will probably continue to struggle with the rest of my life. I pray that when I told her she is worthy of love and that the things that have happened weren't her fault, that she will listen and believe. So I'm thankful for a time to chat with a young girl, and even though I wanted to be a help for her, it's amazing how she truly helped me realize more about myself.
Also tonight at youth group we did an activity that just the thought of it has always made me cringe.... washing each others feet. The interesting thing is I honestly would have rather washed the 20 or so people's feet in the group before letting them touch mine. It's not like I have gross feet or anything, it's just the vulnerability of the situation. The symbolic surrending yourself to someone else, and trusting them. I really don't know what I've always been afraid of because truth is, it was a very amazing experience. I mean what's the worst that could happen? Someone might tell me my feet stink, hehe, but truly what has always scared me? I think it ties back to before; Not feeling worthy or comfortable enough, to put myself out there in such a vulnerable position. So it was cool to see how earlier I was beginning to see that I'm worthy of love, and then being pushed to the test this evening by doing something I have always been weary of.
The other awesome part was seeing my 14 year old brother. The one that makes fun of me, is verbally abusive most of the time, but watching him wash the feet of one of his peers. Sure I was laughing watching him accomplish the task in an awkward fashion, but I couldn't help but feel my eyes well up, feeling so proud of my brother and all these kids doing something the world would find completley crazy. It brought us together for awhile, and I am thankful for the example Jesus left. To serve. To serve others, not for gratitude or for fame, but to genuinly love and do things that others wouldn't imagine.
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Truly great post.