American Idol: So I have my top 4. David Archuleta, David Hernandez, Chikezie, Carly Smithson. I decided to do some research on the youngin' David Archuleta because I thought I remembered hearing something about a time when he had voice problems. Turns out that one of his vocal chords was paralyzed for awhile, but with the help of his voice teacher he recovered. It's a pretty amazing story. What I was really surprised to discover in my research was that he's mormon. Nonethless he still has an amazing voice even if I don't share the same beliefs. Because unlike an article I had stumbled across that said that catholicism, christianity, and mormonism all have the same core beliefs, I beg to differ. But enough of my tangents it should be an interesting turnout once it gets down to all my favorites. :-)

Josh Bales: I popped his cd back into my CD player for the first time in months. I absolutley love his music, and it's perfect for car rides. I love the accoustic feel of his music and the romantic outlook he takes. But his honesty is what I really love. His lyrics are about God, love, the complexity of relationships, and even some of the fears that come with loving someone. I'm glad I'm able to listen to him again because he's great. I admire him because he is able to share music like that. I write like him. My songs are a way to express the things I have trouble saying, so naturally it's hard to share them. But I'm getting to a point where I can. I'm still shy, my nerves are still there, but it's a process and I'm on the uphill. I actually made something really meaningful to me yesterday. I will get a picture up soon. But while a few of us girls got together to scrapbook I made 1 page that I am going to frame that simply has the words:

Sing,
Dream,
Strum,
Create,
Share...without fear, hesitation, or doubt,
courage

Me: It's pretty exciting that I have now written 8 songs. It's just so neat. Hopefully some of it will be recorded soon so I can get it up here.

3 Chords: My favorite group of guys are playing tomorrow night! You should all go out and watch them.

My "little" almost 6'6" brother is 19 today. I can hardly believe it. I wish I had a scanner to scan in some of his baby pictures and some others, he was so stinkin cute. This is the youngest pic I could find of us, it's the cousin picture.



SJ was always known for his ears, I fondly remember calling him dumbo, hehe =) I don't think he would like that very much. Here is a more recent pic of the cousins, with a new beautiful baby cousin added to the bunch! =)



It's hard to believe he is nineteen. But I am so SO proud of him and who he is becoming. SJ is a hardworker with a good head on his shoulders and who loves his famuly and friends. His love for the red sox might be considered by some to be obsessive, and the same could be said for his love for the movie Happy Feet. I mean how many 19 year old guys have penguin dishes, stuffed animals, and posters? But that is such a part of his funny personality. I'm proud of you SJ! Happy 19th Birthday! I love you!

This is a poem I wrote, not sure how old I was exactly, but I'm hoping it was a long time ago. I would like to believe my writing skills have improved a little bit since then, hehe. It made me laugh, and I hope it makes you laugh too and helps get you in the spirit of spring. I know it's coming... eventually! =)

Spring in the Outside World by Amanda LaFave

When I take a walk in the spring
I hear the bugs go Zzzziinngg.
The beautiful flowers bloom
They smell like perfume.
When I look at the sky
I see birds flying by.
I feel the wind
I see the tree's
I hear the bees
I love the
Spring

Hold a Baby Panda
See a friend from high school come to know Jesus
Go to Australia
Have my grandfather see me get married
Go on a motercycle ride in a foreign country
Have my daddy walk me down the aisle
Go on a road trip to Texas
Build my own guitar
Own a mustang
Help teach a non-verbal child how to speak
See the northern lights
Travel Europe
Publish a book
Go on a gandola ride
Do something crazy I never thought I could do

Here are just a few from my list not in any particular order. As for the rest, I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you ;-)

It's fun to hope and dream and plan...

Even when I try to love everything else but You, I run, I do things on my own... it is there in my loneliness that I realize I need You.

So I think I just had the best Valentine's day I've ever had.

I invited kayleena and gwenny over and we had a party. Hopefully pics will be up soon. I decided that it's easy to become grumpy on days like today so I would try to reach out to others instead. I basically did everything for the girls that I would want on valentine's day. I made them dinner, got them each one rose, watched a couple of chick flicks, and ate far too much chocolate. We laughed so much and really enjoyed eachother's company. We complained about how dumb boys can be, and talked about how cute the guy in Sweet Home Alabama is. It was just so much fun and I'm so thankful for a great time of fellowship. Who cares that I couldn't get my car out of the driveway this morning, that work was a little rough, that I got lost... =) yeah, it was one of those days. I'm thankful for relationships, and for oppurtunities, and that life can be fun when you focus on others instead of yourself.

I'm thankful that God takes us by surprise sometimes =)

"Let me call you sweetheart..." is the song stuck in my head tonight, also one of Mary Higgens Clark's book titles.

The other movie we watched was The Perfect Man. Here's my favorite quote from the movie. Mother to daughter.

"Unfortunately, honey pie, new people are only new for a day. After that, they're just people. Who'll excite you, disappoint you, scare you a little bit. And boy do I know how tempting it is to run away when that happens. It's good for avoiding things. But the problem is that you end up avoiding yourself. Avoiding people you love. You end up avoiding life. So I've decided to start setting an example for you girls. I'm going to try showing you what sticking it out looks like. Really get to know people. And let people get to know us. I don't promise to be any good at it, but I will try. Because I want you and Zoe to be better at this than I am. I want you to learn how to let people in."

TLC- I finally e-mailed the girls that I counseled this summer. It's been six months since my experience as being a counselor. I already recieved one response, and it's going to be so neat hearing what all the girls are up to and how God is using them and stretching them. I also have permission to take the ENTIRE month of July off from work, which I can't even tell you what a blessing that is. I handed in my application for Namibia 08! And once we get back I would love to be able to take a group of teens down to TLC. It would be so fun!

Chunky's- I went to Chunky's for my first time tonight! It was so exciting, I felt like a little kid. Erica and I had such a blast and it was her first time too. It was good to be with someone who finds fun in the littlest things like me.

My own Bucket List- That's the movie I saw tonight. It was amazing, dare I say beyond amazing! I laughed. I cried. But most importantly I walked out of the movie unable to stop thinking about what I just saw, and how there are some things I want to change. My goal for this week is to make my own personal bucket list. One that reflects who I am. A list that I can finally write because I'm dreaming again and I've been acting on my dreams. It's much easier to make a list like this when your not so pessimistic. So I praise God for that. But just to warn you it's going to be a sappy, romantic list. One that is deep and meaningful to me. There will also be a lot about traveling, so apparently I am going to need to add "marry a rich man" on the list ;-) hehe... unfortunetley or more like fortuently that is not what I want against my nana's wishes. =) I find that it's who you're with, not where you are that makes life an adventure. If you have the right attitude and spirit, driving through your own town can be an adventure.

Accepting myself- I'm a very deep, thoughtful and emotional person, but that's who God made me to be. I'm not going to apoligize for that. I've learned that I'm a caring person. I remember things down to the smallest details about people, yet I forgot once where Pearl Harbor took place. But you know what? As annoying as it can be for me that I feel like I'm stupid and can't retain information very well, I'd rather remember the day one of my best friends lost her dad so I can give her a call and remind her she's loved, than know a date or a name in history. That's not my gift, but loving people and encouraging them is. So I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm done trying to be the smart girl to meet other people's approval, and spend so much time worrying about it. I'm glad God created me to be who I am because I love that I love people, and I love to make other people smile. And I'm glad I know many smart people that I can get all my history info from. (cough cough Jace! =) PS: The one thing that will not be on my list however is getting a tatoo of a flag on my butt. lol, sorry PD. However, Dudley will forever be my hero with his "mac tat."

It's a good thing no one can see me as I write because I already have tears in my eyes. I've been thinking about my life tonight. Last night in bible study Pastor Darin started talking about God being in the details of our lives. That sometimes He "messes" with our lives, even for the little things like to have a short conversation with someone. Looking back now I am in awe. God used such horrible things to bring me to where I am. If it weren't for abuse which led to us moving to NH, I would not be who I am. I probably wouldn't know God, wouldn't be at Christ's Church, and wouldn't be looking for what God has for me.

I'm just overwhelmed by all of that. I've been thinking about childhood. The friends I have had, and sometimes even when you haven't talked to someone for years or haven't spent time with them since you grew up and took different paths, you miss them. You remember how that person changed you. How that person was there in some really hard times. How that person hurt when you hurt, and was happy when you were happy.

How much fun it was to go out in the hottub and look up at the stars as young teens and dream about what we thought life would be like. How gilmore girls and one tree hill were our everything. How we are both going to be in eachother's weddings.

How those girls in the dorm were always there for me and loved me when I couldn't love myself.

How your best friend gets married and things are different.

And then there's always that group of people that your time was far too short with them, and you can honestly say it was one of the best time's of your life.

How your "little" brother grows up, and it isn't till he's gone that you realize how much you love him and how proud you are of him.

How the uncle who has always been there for me, who claims he is my "uncle buck," and that I'm his "little buddy #1," goes to a doctor's appointment today and our worst fears are confirmed that he has a form of leukemia.

Sometimes I just miss parts of my life. It's so hard letting go of people, moving on, and going down the path God has for you. Because change isn't easy. Change can sometimes feel like your life is being ruined or that it will never be better again. But for me looking back, the changes in my life have often been the best things.

I don't remember being this little, but I am in awe of a God who knew all the details of my life before I was even born, and who knew everything that would happen the first twenty years, and I can trust that He knows what He's doing for the rest of it.


"So here's to the past please let me go
Here's to the future I don't even know
Here's to the people who've made me cry
Here's to the ones who never leave my side
In all of my life's ups and downs
God you still somehow
You still somehow love me"
~Lyrics to my new song in the works

I got accepted at Rivier! :-) More news on what I'm doing with that soon.

I got so much accomplished this afternoon... cleaned my room, laundry, cleaned out the kiaguar, working on my lesson for tomorrow at youth group and am researching more games to add to my "Amanda's Gameage List"

... I got a little distracted however when I came across this blog that I am now adding in my frequent Blog sites. And in it they titled these two videos under the topic: "the future of youth ministry games" They are so stinkin funny! If you want to see what the future of chubby bunny and other games that a group of japanese people tried out watch the following two videos! But be prepared to laugh!







PS: GO PATS!!!