I am taking the NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) Challenge! It's with Pastor Darin and Jackie though so it will be all good :)

I'm still trying to decide on where I will be posting, but for today it's right here!

The haunted house went over pretty well. Gotta go tear things down today and then I can close the book on it and be done!

So I have some random thoughts about last night's haunted house and halloween and in general that I'm trying to work through...

The first is that it was kind of fun to be scary, mainly with the older kids. I was actually feeling quite amused all evening. I heard everything from "you're not scary," to "ahhh!! you're so scary" to pure shrieks just from pointing a fake black rose in their direction. I also got hit on by about 5 junior high boys. My favorite was the one that sat down next to me, took off his mask, waved his hair around like that annoying prince in shrek. Then proceeded to tell me that he was already an "eternal vampire" ahahaha. It was hysterical. But some things weren't so funny.

Motherly instints that surprised me were coming out last night. Do you know what it's like to see about 40+ students from the school that you work at walk through? Some were fine and smiled at me when they recognized me and were giggling at my costume and said, "Hi Miss LaFave!" But then you had the others that walked through with pure terror on their face. I immediatley took my fake teeth out and spoke loud and clear saying it's all pretend and I got my costume at a store just like they did. But a few of the kids I knew really well still looked at me with such fear in their eyes and struggled with wondering if they could trust me even though I was offering them candy without having to go into the vault. Those looks are what I've been thinking about this morning. It's amazing how easy it is to fall in love with the students you work with and that urge in me that jumps out to do whatever I can to protect them. I know it was all fun and games, but some of the kids were so young and the fear in their eyes was unmistakable and it left me feeling awful. Hopefully at school on monday they will be all smiles and say that they saw me. But I can't help but wonder if some of the trust they had in me might be gone.

I also was thinking about an analogy. When we are faced with fear we lose sight of everything. I do that with God. When I am faced with a situation that scares me or angers me my faith completley shatters and it's because I am so in the situation I lose sight of the One in control. Just like the kids who knew they could trust me, couldn't even look at me or listen to the words of comfort I spoke because they were dwelling in fear.

Does anyone ever wonder how Job did it? I don't get it, the slightest thing and I feel my faith crumble. I don't want to be like that. Is it because Job had a good life and had years of practicing his faith without trials? I wonder if that makes the difference? In my case however I have been through some awful things in my 21 years before I accepted Christ, and up till now. My life has been up, down, sideways, all over the place. So I can't help but wonder... if Job's years of practice of getting to know God without facing trials, and the distraction and pain that come with them, made his faith what it was? So that when He finally was faced with trials He was ready for them?

Is that my problem? That maybe I have never truly gotten to a point of knowing and loving God deep enough so that when I come face to face with a trial I don't lose sight of my trust in Him? It was like the older kids that went through the haunted house, years of practice and experience gave them the wisdom that everything was pretend. That was why more of the older kids were able to go through the haunted house and break a smile. Maybe in my faith I am still the small child who is doubting and wondering what is true and real. Maybe I haven't had enough time to stand up before the next thing knocks me back to my knees.

I truly have no idea, but I would like to hear from others about my analysis of Job's life. Do you think the lack of trials in his life up until the time they all hit played a big part in making his faith stronger?