Wow, it's been a while. I've had a lot on my mind this past week, and Mr. Griffin's sermon today helped bring it all together. He asked the congregation to help write his sermon by answering the question, "How has God been working in your life?" I knew the answer in my heart, but chose not to share it out loud and spend some time talking to God.

God has been teaching me that flirting with the line of sin and temptation and putting yourself in compromising situations is only bringing you away from Him. That even when you don't want to talk to Him it doesn't mean He goes away. That my heart hurts more when I try to avoid Him, because I never feel whole without knowing that I'm seeking after Him and that I am making Him the center of my life. That the time I spend on meaningless activities does not build me up. I've been learning that my best friendships have good communication. It's the kind of relationship where you can spill your guts to eachother without fear or hesitation. Because good friends listen, cry with you, smile, pray with you, and turn you back to God. Good friends don't make you feel guilty, turn away when things get hard, or try to turn you into someone your not. I am so thankful for those friends. I am thankful that God is the best friend I could ever ask for and that He still sticks around even when I don't pull my weight. I'm learning how meaningful the David Crowder lyrics are to me when he says, "Be all my hopes, Be all my dreams. Be all my delights, be my everything." That God is still my everything even when I wander. That God is gracious, patient and loving. That God is sufficient. That He understands and that He provides great friends to help walk this journey with you.

One of those good friends of mine is Erica. In watching her life I have seen a lot of me in it. Erica is learning and continues to learn what it means to see herself as God sees her. How to love herself even when the thoughts in her head try to tell her differently. She deals with fears and insecurities, but what she doesn't always see is the beautiful person she is. The love she shows towards other people. How creative and thoughtful she is. What a great mom she is, and what a great friend she has been to me. I wrote this song for Erica because she is beautiful and God is doing an amazing work in her even when she doesn't see it. This song reminds me that even though I view myself in a different light than others see me, that I am beautiful in God's eyes. That those people that love me, love me for who I am. Who I am is not what those negative thoughts in my head tell me I am. That my friends don't just love me when I'm having a good hair day or when I'm in a good place emotionally. But when I can't keep away tears, when I'm messy and hurt, and when I feel alone. And most importantly this song reminds me that God has already won the battle, and that I am beautiful because of my Jesus who lives in my heart.

So here are the song lyrics. It all started with a quote I wrote on my blog back in January that said, "what you dwell on is who you are."


Erica's Song
She hides her pretty face from the world
Too scared she won't meet their expectations
Turns out they've always been her own
The little mirror tells her lies
She believes them every word
With no hesitation
Falling fast inside her mind

Chorus:
What you dwell on is who you are
But what you're thinking isn't what you are
For you are loved, a forgiven sinners heart
Push away those thoughts that bring you down
This battle that never seems to end
Is fought and won because of Him
You're beautiful

Little boy says I love you
Mama and everything you do
I'm so grateful
This keeps her holding on
The picture that she sees
Wishing she was better at so many things
She doesn't see it
The woman she's meant to be

Chorus x2

Bridge:
So on that day she sees His dreams
Pushes fear aside and is set free
She'll know, she's beautiful
She'll know she's beautiful
And she'll see, what He has seen
All along

SJ was home this week. It was so good to see him and spend time with him. I also had a great time visiting PA last weekend. It was so great to see friends and it really made me realize how much I miss having people my own age around. I can't stop thinking about change and how quickly life can turn. Today is my baby cousin's first birthday!



I can hardly believe it. Some of the youth group kids are getting their licenses. I'm going to be 21 in a few months. Life just continues on. It's so funny how there are times I wish I could stop it, and other times I wish I could just fast forward. That's where my own selfishness comes in, I want the parts of life that are enjoyable to me.

I just watched a video of one of the guys I went to school with. It was a video of him preaching at youth group. Things like that blow my mind. Some of my friends are going off to be counselors, missionaries, youth pastors, ministering all over the world, working in churches all over the US. It's just so neat to see what God is doing. Anyways, this video really stirred my heart. The phrase he kept using was, "we get to give." What we get and recieve is meant to be given. I'm just sitting here thinking about my life and one of the biggest things I'm thinking about is time. I'm given time, I'm supposed to use the time I've recieved and give it back to God for His glory. How often I waste my time. I should be spending more time with Him.

What am I doing with my life? Am I glorifying God with it? What changes can I make?

These are all questions I'm asking of myself on this new, snowy morning. As much as I can't wait for the snow to end, the fresh snow covers the old dirty snow. I'm so greatful that God doesn't just cover our sins, but He removes them. They are gone and forgiven.

So like the video I saw, what have you been given? And what are you doing with it?

So SJ had told me about this story. A group of guys caught this video on their cell phone. It would be funny except for the fact that one of the guys got so scared he fainted and had to be brought to the hospital. Here's a couple of articles on the story.

Creepy Gnome terrifies villiage

Gnome Terrifies Argentine Town