Awww.... isn't he a cutie ;-) So my little brother is 18 today, that is so hard to believe. He is now about a foot taller than me, and lots has changed since we were little. Gone are the days when I could throw matchbox cars into his crib so that it would hit him in the head and then say "baby wanna play?" that story makes me smile because I would never even try to mess with him now... probably because of his favorite phrase..."if you hit me, i'll hit you back 10 times harder" :-) haha... yeah not a good idea.

My brother is a great kid, and he just got accepted into college :-) I am so proud of him and all he is growing up to be. I love you SJ!!! Happy Birthday!!!!

love, amanda

PS: So this isn't the best pic of us, but I don't really have a lot, so I obviously need to get some :-)

Life is unbalancable, at least for me it feels like it. I miss my mom and my dad tonight, my parents are divorced, but I miss both of them. The more and more places I go, and the people I meet, the more I feel like bits and pieces of my heart are left along the way. There are the obvious people; your family, and the friends so close to you they are your family. There are the friends you meet when helping out at retreats in different places, friends from the different places and stages of growing up, people you meet on vacations, and even friends in foreign countries. I love all of them, I find it so easy for me to love, the harder part is somewhat letting go. My heart aches for certain people at certain times, and your mind fights with wanting to be with them because as day after day goes by you recognize that life is so short, and you never know how much time you have left with them. Seize every moment. The other aspect is being content and living right where you are. That has been easier for me this semester. I truly love BBC, I love my friends, I love chapel and Doc Harris' smiling face every day, and I love my professors. But sometimes I wish I could have everyone I love with me right where I am, that way I wouldn't feel like I am missing out on something, and could make the most of every moment while they are here. But I have also learned that absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder, you learn to appreciate others more. For example, when you live in the same house with someone (ie my mom, step-dad, and 2 brothers) I find that on visits home we tend to get along much better. You realize how much more you love about them when you are away from them, because you don't have them there anymore... oh how often I take those I love for granted. But with love comes great heartache, because no earthly love can be perfect. That's why I love 1 Peter 4:8 so much... God can give us the strength to love so deeply that it covers a multitude of sins, love is able to forgive and forget, to move on and make better. Love requires change, and selflessness. It means putting the other persons needs above yourself. My mom has been such an example of that in my life, I just wish I could be the daughter that she deserves.



As much as I love and as much pain that love sometimes can bring, I would never trade it, I am grateful for God's gift for me to love and to be loved. As much as I wish I could be in certain places at certain times, I am grateful for people who have crossed my path who have taught me mini lessons on how to love the way God has called me to. So although my heart is scattered, God holds it together because I know that each person I love, whether thousands of miles away or the girl just down the hall in my dorm; all are in His control, and He loves each one and has a plan for each one. And one day in heaven we will all be united...

"I can sing with my last breath, sing for I know, that I'll sing with the angels and the saints around the throne."

That gives me goosebumps :-)

But it is also a reminder to be praying and ministering to those around me who don't know Christ, I want to see them there around His throne too. Praise our God for He is in control, He loves those I love more than I ever could, yet He gives us the grace to love others and to experience something wonderful.

Hehe... this picture cracks me up. My friend Bethany took this today. It took 45 minutes and Alyssa, Rachey, and I to get the Kiaguar out of a snow bank. The front end of my car was no where to be found, and the rest of it was under a good three feet of snow. I'm so excited that snow is finally here... :-) In total we got about two feet, and we got two days of classes cancelled!

miss you all, looking forward to seeing you this weekend

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."


~1 Peter 4:8


Happy Valentine's Day everyone!


I recieved the most beautiful gift for Valentine's Day, and only a Lord of all creation could have sent it to me :-)

Check out the Kiaguar towards the middle :-) Snow!!! We are going to get another 6-8 inches today too :-) So needless to say i'm estatic.

Classes are cancelled!!! For any of you who don't know, BBC is like the most"NO school closing" nazi's ever, so the fact that we have the first snow day in about 5 years is a crazy event. The school I work at is closed as well so today was a much needed sleeping in day :-) I then took a shower and got back into comfy clothes, and today will be spent relaxing, getting homework done, and doing some cleaning along with jamming on my geetar quite a bit, i just did and had a blast :-). I got two packages this week including an amazing blanket from my aunt, and lots of goodies from the awesome women at my church. I was supposed to get a package today from my mom, but the mail room is probably closed so I will have to try to keep the excitement in till tomorrow, but I can't wait. Tonight my dorm is having a Valentine's day party with a girly movie, Pj's and swapping Valentine's. Since I'm sick, today is just what I needed.

Today so far is the best Valentine's Day ever. I have the best friends in the whole world :-)

PS: Joey said he would be my valentine :-)

God taught me a lot through this experience of planning. It gave me an amazing analogy of God being in control. For a moment pretend that I am God in this sitaution. I knew the plans, I knew the timing, I knew the details of what was going to occur in an important event in Alyssa's life. Alyssa however knew nothing. She had some ups and downs, she was sad at times when she didn't get engaged when she thought it was going to happen. She at times was dissapointed, and even complained a little. But through happy times and the occasional tears she still held onto God with everything. She had no clue what hit her today, and it was the absolute best. But she at times couldn't see that until God brought it all together.

Wow... God is in control of my life. I don't have a clue about anything. And He has planned the absolute best for my life. "Even when I can't see, I still believe." Absolutley amazing. The only way you can see that God is working, however, is holding onto Him when life doesn't make sense, because then you see what He had planned all along. Yet how many times do I find myself dissapointed, and frusterated, and wanting to take my life into my own hands. I am the first to admit how much more I fall into these things instead of just trusting the God of the universe who loves me more than anything. The coolest thing is that God is glorified when we trust Him in hard times and when we don't understand. When we cling in the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. Once again I find myself...

"Here at your feet in awe and surrender

Now all of me

Your strength I treasure

One look at Your Cross

I lose sight of me

Your beauty and Grace are all I need."

~A song that I wrote last semester and that I still can't seem to finish....

PS: All pictures of the scavenger hunt and youth retreat are under my "My pictures" link