I have been thinking a lot about godly relationships... not just romantic ones, but just relationships in general. I have never had a problem with loving others... its the other way around that I struggle with... the being loved. In fact I have met many people who are so surprised that I will even talk to them because they are not used to being loved at all... and I can't help but wonder why would you ever think that, only to remember that their confusion is like a mirror image of myself. In my life I just have a hard time accepting people love me... I know a huge amount of this has to do with my past, but God isn't letting me hide my past under the carpet any longer... in fact I have had some amazing conversations since I've been at school, and as pathetic as this sounds, I was surprised that my friends still loved me even after they heard all about my life. But then when I think about it they are loving me like Jesus loves me, and I have no trouble accepting anyone else's past so I have to come to grips with my own. To all of you who have asked what I have learned this year at BBC and have I grown up at all...

The answer is yes... God has been helping me heal and putting great godly men and women in my life who have been showing me what true love looks like. I need to stop worrying what people might think of me and realize that if my friends here on earth love me how much more can God love me? the answer? TONSSS MORE!!! How cool is that, that God loves us no matter what we've done. that truth in itself should have us using our lives to glorify God in everything we do. Jesus died on the cross because He loved us so much. His love was not conditional. He felt the entire weight of our sin and He knew EVERY evil act that humans could do yet He still loved us.

So if this is something you struggle with, and you wonder if someone could love you despite what you have done or because you don't think you are good enough, remember that we are called to love like Jesus loves us. You are loved by God, and even though you may feel like no one could ever love you, that you are indeed loved. I think we all need a reminder of that once in awhile. God sent an angel to leave a note on my desk today that said "you are loved" ... sometimes I need to hear those words and whoever did that if you read this, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

I remember reading a story in the book "Messy Spirituality," where a woman told the man she loved that she was a prostitute... as she sat there waiting for the harsh words and the hate in his eyes to come, all she heard was this... "I love you" that story still hits deep in my heart because sometimes we feel like no one could ever love us, yet God puts special people in our lives who change everything. So always remember that a person who truly loves you will love you like Jesus loves you and nothing short of that, and that kind of love is definetley worth waiting for, and should be played out in the lives of all who believe.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!
Here is my Valentine to you all: