Do not fear anything except the Lord Almighty
amanda
Two things to start out... HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIEEEEEEEE!!!

To start off on a non-serious note, this was my face when pastor darin, amanda, and katie walked in to surprise me for my graduation... hehe, i was only a little excited and very shocked... :-) Keep checking my photobucket, I hope to get my Graduation pics and my cruise pics up soon!




"People really like me a lot when they only know me a little, but I have this great fear that if they knew me a lot they wouldn't like me."


"And the scary thing about relationships, intimate relationships, is that if somebody gets to know us, the us that we usually hide, they might not love us; they might reject us."


"... I always thought marriage, would be the ultimate fullfillment. It is great don't get me wrong, but there are places in our lives that only God can go."


"I mean that to be in a relationship with God is to be loved purely and furiously. And a person who thinks themselves unlovable cannot be in a relationship with God because he can't accept who God is; a Being that is love. We learn that we are lovable or unlovable from other people. That is why God tells us so many times to love eachother."


~Quotes from Donald Miller's book "Blue Like Jazz"


These quotes were awesome because they capture a lot of how I feel a lot of the time. And by these quotes I don't mean that I am always this way, it just seems to be a struggle I can't completley let go of. Fear is a horrible thing to let rule your life, it's an area I am growing in, but I look forward to continued growth because I am so far from where I would like to be. I just liked these quotes so much because it made me feel less alone in being fearful. It was nice to just feel like someone understands today (even if it was only words on a page ;-) instead of having people start listing all I have going for me and getting frusterated that I can't see what they see. But I know that until I feel that acceptance myself, I will only think you are crazy :-) ... but I continue to try, because I desire a life where I fear only God. I think that maybe I should start a personal bible study on fear... I just typed the word "fear" into biblegateway and just a little under 400 references came up. That's such a reminder to me that God is indeed perfect and knows me so deeply that He provided a way to teach me about one of my biggest struggles, and I think one of mankinds biggest struggles. I need to take advantage of that.


Updates: three more days at work and 12 days till Namibia- I am SO ready...
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2 Responses
  1. germaine Says:
    11:22 AM

    I would be sure to include 1 John 4... it's one of my favorite references... and puts things into perspective for me when I get those sudden twinges... and it's cool that you were on this subject last night because my bible study was right here last night...

    Love ~G


  2. Lisa Andreasen Says:
    9:42 PM

    "People really like me a lot when they only know me a little, but I have this great fear that if they knew me a lot they wouldn't like me."

    I still struggle with this one. It used to be much worse, and sadly there were a few people in high school and college that behaved in ways that really made me believe it for a while. God blessed me in my last year of college with 2 amazing friends that let me know that they loved me as I was, let me silly without making fun of me, and reminded me that God made me just the way he wanted to make me.

    I am so thankful for that, but there are moments when I open my big mouth, or get really silly, that those twinges of insecurity creep right back in.

    You are not alone. Thanks for sharing.

    I love you,
    ~L


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