Wow, it's been a while. I've had a lot on my mind this past week, and Mr. Griffin's sermon today helped bring it all together. He asked the congregation to help write his sermon by answering the question, "How has God been working in your life?" I knew the answer in my heart, but chose not to share it out loud and spend some time talking to God.

God has been teaching me that flirting with the line of sin and temptation and putting yourself in compromising situations is only bringing you away from Him. That even when you don't want to talk to Him it doesn't mean He goes away. That my heart hurts more when I try to avoid Him, because I never feel whole without knowing that I'm seeking after Him and that I am making Him the center of my life. That the time I spend on meaningless activities does not build me up. I've been learning that my best friendships have good communication. It's the kind of relationship where you can spill your guts to eachother without fear or hesitation. Because good friends listen, cry with you, smile, pray with you, and turn you back to God. Good friends don't make you feel guilty, turn away when things get hard, or try to turn you into someone your not. I am so thankful for those friends. I am thankful that God is the best friend I could ever ask for and that He still sticks around even when I don't pull my weight. I'm learning how meaningful the David Crowder lyrics are to me when he says, "Be all my hopes, Be all my dreams. Be all my delights, be my everything." That God is still my everything even when I wander. That God is gracious, patient and loving. That God is sufficient. That He understands and that He provides great friends to help walk this journey with you.

One of those good friends of mine is Erica. In watching her life I have seen a lot of me in it. Erica is learning and continues to learn what it means to see herself as God sees her. How to love herself even when the thoughts in her head try to tell her differently. She deals with fears and insecurities, but what she doesn't always see is the beautiful person she is. The love she shows towards other people. How creative and thoughtful she is. What a great mom she is, and what a great friend she has been to me. I wrote this song for Erica because she is beautiful and God is doing an amazing work in her even when she doesn't see it. This song reminds me that even though I view myself in a different light than others see me, that I am beautiful in God's eyes. That those people that love me, love me for who I am. Who I am is not what those negative thoughts in my head tell me I am. That my friends don't just love me when I'm having a good hair day or when I'm in a good place emotionally. But when I can't keep away tears, when I'm messy and hurt, and when I feel alone. And most importantly this song reminds me that God has already won the battle, and that I am beautiful because of my Jesus who lives in my heart.

So here are the song lyrics. It all started with a quote I wrote on my blog back in January that said, "what you dwell on is who you are."


Erica's Song
She hides her pretty face from the world
Too scared she won't meet their expectations
Turns out they've always been her own
The little mirror tells her lies
She believes them every word
With no hesitation
Falling fast inside her mind

Chorus:
What you dwell on is who you are
But what you're thinking isn't what you are
For you are loved, a forgiven sinners heart
Push away those thoughts that bring you down
This battle that never seems to end
Is fought and won because of Him
You're beautiful

Little boy says I love you
Mama and everything you do
I'm so grateful
This keeps her holding on
The picture that she sees
Wishing she was better at so many things
She doesn't see it
The woman she's meant to be

Chorus x2

Bridge:
So on that day she sees His dreams
Pushes fear aside and is set free
She'll know, she's beautiful
She'll know she's beautiful
And she'll see, what He has seen
All along