I'm taking a break from the blogging world for awhile. Just wanted to get that out in the open so I don't have to keep feeling guilty about not writing. So to all my loyal fans... once I get my life in order, I will be back.
"I see the King of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see His love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing
[Chorus]
Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest (x2)
I see a generation
Rising up to take the place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees
[Bridge]
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
~Hillsong
Father, help me to desire the things of Your heart. That my heart would be the slightest resemblance of Yours. Help me to love like You, and to share with others the wonders of everything You are.
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see His love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing
[Chorus]
Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest (x2)
I see a generation
Rising up to take the place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees
[Bridge]
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
~Hillsong
Father, help me to desire the things of Your heart. That my heart would be the slightest resemblance of Yours. Help me to love like You, and to share with others the wonders of everything You are.
June 28, 2004 (Just turned 17, right before my first trip to Namibia)
I'm not sure how I'm feeling at this moment. It's weird but the sense of piece I felt in my last entry is something I'm not really feeling right now. I really like this journal and I'm glad Lisa got it for me. She said she thought of me when she saw it, and she thought it would be good for when I go to Namibia to record my thoughts and things I learn. I'm leaving in exactly one month tomorrow. I'm having mixed feelings about the whole thing though. I am very excited and I know this trip will have a huge impact in my life. I guess I'm just worried at what those changes might be. I trust God with everything... it's just that I've never liked change, it's scary and new. Changes in my life have been good in the past once I adjust... it's just hard at first.
June 29, 2004
In my first entry I mentioned the book "Wild at Heart" and how some of the things had hit me. One of the things that touched my heart is when he says that in every "beauty" there is a desire to be rescued, and in every "knight" there is a desire to rescue the "beauty." He also states that some other desires of a woman is for her to know if she is lovely or worth pursuing. These two hit me so hard because next he ties these to "father wounds." He says there are two ways a father can cripple his daughter, if he is abusive or passive. Unfortunetly, I've had to deal with both. I guess that scares me because those are the desires of my heart... The only father that has said I am worth it and I am lovely is God. I know it's enough, I just know I missed out on something big, and it's a constant reminder espcially when I see Pastor Darin and his girls. Even though I've tried to push those feelings away... I really wish I had had an earthly father who made me feel like I live up to God's answers. Instead, even now I feel ashamed, guilty, dirty and unloved. Alot of people don't understand why I still feel this way but at times I do. It's weird but lately I keep thinking about marriage. It's something I want more than anything. I guess I just want the chance to feel a man love and protect me, and I want someone to cuddle with and to share my dreams. I want to marry a knight... I want someone who is willing to fight for me. I want someone who loves God more than me, and I want to know that I am lovely and worth fighting for. I love you God.
<3 always, Mandy
I'm not sure how I'm feeling at this moment. It's weird but the sense of piece I felt in my last entry is something I'm not really feeling right now. I really like this journal and I'm glad Lisa got it for me. She said she thought of me when she saw it, and she thought it would be good for when I go to Namibia to record my thoughts and things I learn. I'm leaving in exactly one month tomorrow. I'm having mixed feelings about the whole thing though. I am very excited and I know this trip will have a huge impact in my life. I guess I'm just worried at what those changes might be. I trust God with everything... it's just that I've never liked change, it's scary and new. Changes in my life have been good in the past once I adjust... it's just hard at first.
June 29, 2004
In my first entry I mentioned the book "Wild at Heart" and how some of the things had hit me. One of the things that touched my heart is when he says that in every "beauty" there is a desire to be rescued, and in every "knight" there is a desire to rescue the "beauty." He also states that some other desires of a woman is for her to know if she is lovely or worth pursuing. These two hit me so hard because next he ties these to "father wounds." He says there are two ways a father can cripple his daughter, if he is abusive or passive. Unfortunetly, I've had to deal with both. I guess that scares me because those are the desires of my heart... The only father that has said I am worth it and I am lovely is God. I know it's enough, I just know I missed out on something big, and it's a constant reminder espcially when I see Pastor Darin and his girls. Even though I've tried to push those feelings away... I really wish I had had an earthly father who made me feel like I live up to God's answers. Instead, even now I feel ashamed, guilty, dirty and unloved. Alot of people don't understand why I still feel this way but at times I do. It's weird but lately I keep thinking about marriage. It's something I want more than anything. I guess I just want the chance to feel a man love and protect me, and I want someone to cuddle with and to share my dreams. I want to marry a knight... I want someone who is willing to fight for me. I want someone who loves God more than me, and I want to know that I am lovely and worth fighting for. I love you God.
<3 always, Mandy
Picture- Did you notice that I changed the once scenery picture to a cool picture I took of my flip flops a couple months ago?
Music- I added my playlist from myspace to my blog! =) The first song on the playlist is one of my new favorites. I heard it for the first time at MCC last Sunday when I visited. It's a beautiful song.
Who I was, has made who I am- The title (at least for now) of a new segment I am going to be adding to my blog. I will be posting at least once a week from journals of my past. I have found myself reading back through entries I wrote even as early as thirteen and it's neat to look back on and remember all that God was doing. And possibly even see how some of my readers have made an impact in my life, dun dun dun.
What does this mean?!?- I hope to start posting every now and again about confusing topics in the bible that may be controversial. Or maybe bringing up questions that I always don't know how to answer when explaining my faith to others. I'm hoping that through this segment that I will continue learning.
Imprint of the week- I hope to post weekly about something that left an imprint on my heart. A conversation, song lyrics, verse, quote, picture... you get the idea.
I hope that by posting some regular segments (I'm copying Pastor Darin, hehe) that I can get more of a hold on this whole blogging world that I'm really coming to love and enjoy!
Thanks for reading! =)
Music- I added my playlist from myspace to my blog! =) The first song on the playlist is one of my new favorites. I heard it for the first time at MCC last Sunday when I visited. It's a beautiful song.
Who I was, has made who I am- The title (at least for now) of a new segment I am going to be adding to my blog. I will be posting at least once a week from journals of my past. I have found myself reading back through entries I wrote even as early as thirteen and it's neat to look back on and remember all that God was doing. And possibly even see how some of my readers have made an impact in my life, dun dun dun.
What does this mean?!?- I hope to start posting every now and again about confusing topics in the bible that may be controversial. Or maybe bringing up questions that I always don't know how to answer when explaining my faith to others. I'm hoping that through this segment that I will continue learning.
Imprint of the week- I hope to post weekly about something that left an imprint on my heart. A conversation, song lyrics, verse, quote, picture... you get the idea.
I hope that by posting some regular segments (I'm copying Pastor Darin, hehe) that I can get more of a hold on this whole blogging world that I'm really coming to love and enjoy!
Thanks for reading! =)
"There is no place in all the world You do not call Your own.
Creator of all peoples every, nation every tongue.
From every corner of the earth, boundless is Your reign.
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, hear us sing Your praise.
We Your people call to You, asking for Your help.
God be merciful to those whose pain we�ve never felt.
Give them rest from worldly sorrow,
Bless them Lord with food to eat.
We ask You, Gentle Shepherd call,
The ones that are Your sheep.
All seeing Lord now look to those in city and in field,
Who seek to spread Your fame and love,
this broken world to heal.
See Your persecuted children, soothe their violent wounds.
In their weakness be their strength, that they might hope in You.
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, may Your kingdom come
In all the earth as it is in heaven, may Your will be done.
In all the world in all our hearts, Jesus You are King.
We wait, we hope, we trust, we know,
Your face we soon shall see."
~Josh Bales
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