Funny how wanting to be home for a long extended period of time is something I've been looking forward to all year, but it isn't the same home I remember. Home has changed, people have changed, and I've changed. I am a college sophomore already, where does the time go, and I'm graduating next year...??? hehe... I don't know what I'm doing??? I've only been here two days and I'm already bored out of my mind. Everyone else is continuing in the life they have had this past year, and I'm just trying to figure out how to fit back in. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I will be more excited in a few days, I think it just hasn't completley hit me that I don't have to go back to school next weekend... weird.
Church was good today. Pastor Darin wasn't there, so Scott preached and did a great job. He pushed my thinking a lot. Ending with the question of "what is your river?" Sometimes I think I know, other times I don't. After a year of bible college I feel closer to God in some aspects, but feel beyond confused in so many other areas, dying to have more responsibility but uncertain and afraid of what that might bring. I feel like I'm searching for something, unsure of what it is and all that's ahead of me is murky water with no light in sight. Scott said that we can't just sit around and expect God to do all of the work- that we need to work at "it." I guess at this point in my life I'm not sure what "it" is. I know someday I will probably look back on this and be in awe of the way God revealed a little more of His plan. Why is it though that I can't seem to be content with where I am, always searching and wanting something more??? I guess my goal for this summer is to try and be content. When I'm bored to try and make the best of the little time I have. When I'm confused to just meditate on who our God is, because when you look upon that, the little things in life don't seem so important anymore. Truth is I know time will fly by, and that I will soon be sitting back in my dorm room in PA wondering where the summer went. Scott also said that we need to make a commitment first. He was right, why is it that sometimes we just fool around, feeling things out trying to see if we are comfortable- maybe our human way of thinking is backwards? I don't neccesarily know what my "river" is... sometimes I think I know what it is, but that could just be a stupid dream completley of me and not of God.... but Scott did made a good point. God will bless us when we jump into our river. And even if we completley mess up (cuz there will be those times), He will turn us around. I guess we just gotta take that dive and hold on tight...
"Sick and Tired of this world
There's no more air
Trippin' over myself
Goin' nowhere
Waiting, Suffocating
No direction
And I took a dive
And on the way down
I saw you
And you saved me from myself
And I won't forget the way you loved me
On the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held onto you"
~Ryan Cabrera
"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."
~Jeremiah 33:3
Church was good today. Pastor Darin wasn't there, so Scott preached and did a great job. He pushed my thinking a lot. Ending with the question of "what is your river?" Sometimes I think I know, other times I don't. After a year of bible college I feel closer to God in some aspects, but feel beyond confused in so many other areas, dying to have more responsibility but uncertain and afraid of what that might bring. I feel like I'm searching for something, unsure of what it is and all that's ahead of me is murky water with no light in sight. Scott said that we can't just sit around and expect God to do all of the work- that we need to work at "it." I guess at this point in my life I'm not sure what "it" is. I know someday I will probably look back on this and be in awe of the way God revealed a little more of His plan. Why is it though that I can't seem to be content with where I am, always searching and wanting something more??? I guess my goal for this summer is to try and be content. When I'm bored to try and make the best of the little time I have. When I'm confused to just meditate on who our God is, because when you look upon that, the little things in life don't seem so important anymore. Truth is I know time will fly by, and that I will soon be sitting back in my dorm room in PA wondering where the summer went. Scott also said that we need to make a commitment first. He was right, why is it that sometimes we just fool around, feeling things out trying to see if we are comfortable- maybe our human way of thinking is backwards? I don't neccesarily know what my "river" is... sometimes I think I know what it is, but that could just be a stupid dream completley of me and not of God.... but Scott did made a good point. God will bless us when we jump into our river. And even if we completley mess up (cuz there will be those times), He will turn us around. I guess we just gotta take that dive and hold on tight...
"Sick and Tired of this world
There's no more air
Trippin' over myself
Goin' nowhere
Waiting, Suffocating
No direction
And I took a dive
And on the way down
I saw you
And you saved me from myself
And I won't forget the way you loved me
On the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held onto you"
~Ryan Cabrera
"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."
~Jeremiah 33:3
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